Stick Around- For My Wife

I remember when I first knew I adored you

You said you doubted my existence

But baby, you’re an eight and I’m a three

And together we make the finest pair of ones

I remember when you stated that you hated winter

You said the cold and snow bores you

My fierce mind soared into a million reasons why you should love me, even when the temperature drops below thirty two degrees

It wasn’t long before you said you couldn’t wait for it rain icicles from the sky

That day my passion started to rage with the sort of heat that only the stars can understand

And I promise to always be your warmth

Love, you make me dream in cans of Kansas Soup, swim in an endless ocean of joy, and rise like a hot air balloon.

From the first glance of two infinite constellations pouring faith into my desperate soul

I adored you

I adore you

I remember the day I asked you for a moment

Instead you promised me a lifetime, sighed and occupied the empty cavern in my chest

I remember the time you made me so hungry that I couldn’t begin to eat

I aligned my eyes with yours and realized that the only sustenance in this world worth knowing is your lips on mine

Thank you, for feeding me

You made desire out of my hurt

Fashioned the needle to sew my broken heart into trust

Left your ring on my empty night stand, and stood by me when my eyes couldn’t bare the guilt of failure

I remember the night I asked you if you thought love was enough

You smiled, and said “what do you think?”

I adore when you answer my questions with a question

Because the only answer that makes any sense to me, is you

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Between Words

Because my wife’s job keeps her surrounded by the dying, she tends to have a unique perspective when it comes to the end of someone’s life and how a family grieves.   The most eye opening thought she has ever shared with me is how unfair it is to have to grieve while the world is still going on around you.  Your whole world stops, but the cars outside your windows keep driving on at the same pace.  I wrote this poem in honor of those people, in honor of this idea.

“Between Words”

The day I woke up to a sodium hypochlorite alarm clock

My mother was cleaning the entire house with bleach

She sank into her over-sized armchair and lit plane crashes with nicotine fingers

Chasing shots of cancer with regret

The polyhedral glow of the morning’s disaster made shadow puppets on the wall

I rubbed dirty vision from my subtle eyes

She told me that the sun is not the east or west, but the all-encompassing leader of dreamers

It made me think of John Lennon and the holes in our chests

Because this is where my heart used to rest

Before the end of innocent smiles

Before the death of good intentions

Before I stopped believing in love

Settling into the day melodies snapped like barely lit firecrackers pushing against my eardrums

Between words I wondered how we reach for the sky with machine guns anchored to our ankles

I wondered if my father could still feel, laying on the floor in our living room

The shattered pieces of his heart still twitching in his chest

I wondered how anyone goes on after death, anyone

Time is a brutal enemy to the broken

The clock still spins in mocking circles even after hurt walks through your front door hands you its luggage, sits in your easy chair, kicks up its feet and asks for a drink

It’s been a long journey and there is a deep shadow in the corners of heaven no one ever talks about

Filled with mother’s wiping away their tears with bleach

I wonder how anyone goes on after death, anyone